I turned 33 about 2 weeks ago. I have this crazy birthday curse. Going back to childhood. my birthdays just sucked and something horrible always had to happen on or around my birthday. Its a damn curse. That’s why I never celebrate my birthday. But this year was different. I was thinking you know… I bet this is my year. This is the year we can celebrate Me! This is the year I can feel special and happy and have it be all about Me! My birthday! THIS WILL BE MY YEAR TO BREAK THE CURSE! Lets just take a moment to laugh at me and my optimism.
This was not the year.
Wait. Scratch that. This years birthday was actually really great. I was going to go into the story about the horrible turn of events that happened… but in doing so, I had typed “It was amazing in the sense that I got to see peoples true colors.”
Now, I meant that in a way where I got to see how people really felt about me. For good and bad. I got to see and feel the level of love and respect others have for me. Most respect me a lot, a few respect me a little, and one person in particular didn’t respect me at all. And it was that one person who made me feel that this was not my year to end the birthday curse.
But like I said, it’s amazing when you see people for who they really are and how they really feel about you. It’s a very bright silver lining on a dark cloud.
I think the best part of my birthday was just how many people went out of their way to make this the best birthday ever for me and to show me how much they truly care about me. Just feeling the effort and love that everyone put into making my day special was inspiring. And it’s this that I draw from
I’m not going to say that it’s an awesome feeling when people you trusted betrayed you in ways you never thought possible. I’m not going to say it’s been easy dealing with all the aftermath from others thoughts, opinions and judgments. Or having people I thought I could trust turn on me quickly and effortlessly. Its been horribly rough dealing with all the feelings and emotions that come along with that.
I was in a really dark emotional place for a minute. I was dwelling – and still catch myself – feeling hurt, bitter, angry, negative. Which is normal after experiencing this. But it’s like magic, whenever I catch myself retreating someone always reaches out with love and helps me into a better place. I am so lucky to have so many people that care about me.
So cheers to ending that chapter. And starting a new, better chapter in my life. I wouldn’t change any of it because after all it’s the previous chapters of our lives that lead into the next and complete the final story.
Someday my story will come to an end. I have many more chapters to write. Adventures to have and heartbreaks to endure. But one thing I know, is that I finally broke the birthday curse.