When I was in my earlier twenties and bartending, I came up with what I believe is the most entertaining bar game EVER. It came about because the bar was super slow, with only a couple patrons there by themselves trying to escape their loneliness. It was only 2pm after all. On a Tuesday. The stocked bar was about 3 shelves high and was trying to be upscale in a shithole neighborhood. A place where people could feel classy drinking alone, in the middle of the day, on a Tuesday. It was set up a lot like the one below. It had a lot more booze bottles though.
One of the beer reps had just dropped off two boxes of 5,000 coasters. I still had 6 boxes from the other beer reps. What to do with all these cardboard coasters….
COASTER GAME.
That’s right, the coaster game. Can you guess how it’s played?
Well if you guessed by throwing the coasters at the booze bottles then you are correct!
Here are the official rules, which I encourage you to try at your local bar. (It works way better if you get the bartenders permission first)
1. YOU HAVE TO AGREE TO ALL THE RULES BEFORE PLAYING.
2. Take 3 coasters.
3. Throw the 3 coasters at the booze bottles. (See why you want the bartenders permission? They tend to frown upon things being thrown at the booze bottles)
4. Whatever 3 bottles you hit, get mixed into one shot.
5. You have to take that shot. (If they took it and didn’t puke I only charged $2 for it, however other bartenders aren’t so giving.)
You can try to aim all you want, but you’re still going to end up with this
IRISH WHISKEY, GIN and TEQUILA = DISASTER
5a. If you hit a bottle you absolutely cannot take – for me its tequila pukefest happens just off the smell alone- you have to buy someone in the bar a full price drink.
5b. If your coaster does not hit a bottle and hits a wall, a bartender, or the floor, then you coaster counts as milk. Thats right, you hit tequila, vodka and then the wall your shot is tequila, vodka and milk. Gross. But you can only get the milk once. So if on the first throw it hits the wall, then you hit the wall again, you get another coaster to hit a booze bottle.
The game got really popular. I mean, REALLY POPULAR. There is nothing more entertaining than watching someone try to aim for all vodka and end up with Whiskey, Pear Vodka and Spiced Rum. Gag. It’s even more fun to try it yourself. It’s painful and it sucks. But it’s like being on a team and the whole bar roots for you, laughs at you and congratulates you and calls you really fudking stupid. It was just the kind of game the lonely bar crowd needed. But once it caught on and people were coming in asking to play it at night. I got a talking to by the head bartender. He let it go for awhile. Then he got hit in the head.
three times.
in the same night.
The coaster game became outlawed.
Then I created ANOTHER fun bar game. I called that one RPSFU. But it’s too elaborate for an already long blog post.
